Murphy's World

A Bite Out of the Big Apple

Dear Murphy,

I drive local in the New York Metro area. While approaching the tolls on the Verrazano Narrows Bridge, a minivan decided to merge right in front of me. I tried to encourage him to do it elsewhere by making sure there wasn’t enough room to merge. (Stop and go).

When we got to the toll both, and he had nowhere to go, he merged in front of me anyway. After my lug nuts tore his door open (he wasn’t in front of me when he merged), he turned on his cop car lights! Yes, the driver was a federal law enforcement agent.

And this is where the un-Murphy ending comes in. Their insurance adjuster called my company to settle the damages. Our guy told the adjuster that we weren’t going to pay since he cut in front of an 18-wheeler, and besides, it was an old car.

“What? The claim is for a 2005 minivan,” said the adjuster. My boss informed him the police report was for a 1996 Dodge. “Fax it over, and I’m closing my file due to fraud,” said the adjuster. Murph must have been sleeping on the job.

Steve O.
New York, NY

Dear Steve,

Let’s get something straight right off the top. Murphy never takes a day off, and he certainly never sleeps on the job. Did it ever occur to you that every once in a blue moon, Murphy calls up his big-city cousin, Mugsy (who messes with federal agents the way Murphy messes with truck drivers), and suggests a little unsolicited mischief? That’s exactly what happened in this case.

We put in a call to Mugsy and said, “Just for kicks and giggles, let’s have one of your fed boys try to cut off one of my truck’n buddies. Let’s have the truck’s lug nuts open the side of the fed guy’s vehicle like a can of tuna, and just to make things really interesting, let’s have the fed guy file a false report and get busted instead of my guy.”

Of course, we couldn’t let Mugsy have all the fun. That’s why we told Mugsy to put the fed guy in a minivan and then surprise you with the cop lights. Gotcha, didn’t we?

You’re right about one thing, though. When you drive local in Metro New York, every day is a Murphy Day.

Regards,
Murphy and Lucky Dog