Murphy's World

The nation's favorite spectator sport

Dear Murphy,

A few years ago I was on I-95 taking a load of beans up to Boston (go figure), when the traffic suddenly became bumper-to-bumper. It stayed in a crawl for some time, and I was getting very frustrated. I didn’t want to be late to my drop.

After a while, I calmed down and started thinking that maybe it was an accident or something terrible, and I was hoping nobody got hurt.

Well, I finally got to the cause of the problem: a cute gal in a short skirt was changing a tire on the side of the road.

Ed Jenkins

Grassy Meadows, WV

Dear Ed,

You witnessed one of the nation’s great spectator sports. No matter how hard we all try, humans cruising down the road and otherwise minding their own business simply can’t help but slow down to get a good look at a nasty wreck, gory road kill or a cute girl in a short skirt changing a tire on the side of the road.

I’m no psychologist, but it must be something in our genes, just like a fight-or-flee response. Let’s call it a stop-and-stare response, and there’s literally and figuratively no getting around it.

The stop-and-stare response can be especially aggravating when you have places to go and not much time to get there, but whattaya gonna do? Pass a law that makes it illegal to ogle cute girls on the side of the road? Highway patrol officers, assuming they could take their own eyes away from the road-side spectacle long enough to write a ticket, would be blue-lighting every car in sight, and that would only make the problem worse.

Other than stopping to help the young damsel in distress, I think you did the only thing that makes any sense in this situation: relax and enjoy the view.

Regards,

Murphy and Lucky Dog