Fun & Games

Please don't tease the drivers

A truck driver stopped at a roadside diner for lunch and ordered a cheeseburger, coffee and slice of apple pie. As he was about to eat, three men on motorcycles pulled up outside. They came in, and one grabbed the trucker’s cheeseburger out of his hand and took a huge bite from it. The second biker drank the trucker’s coffee, and the third wolfed down his apple pie.

The truck driver didn’t say a word. He simply got up, paid the cashier and left. When he was gone, the bikers snickered and congratulated each other on being so bad. As the cashier walked up, one of them growled, “He ain’t much of a man, is he?”

“He’s not much of a driver, either,” the cashier replied. “He just backed his 18-wheeler over three motorcycles.”*

*NOTE: A big hearty “hello” to Chuck Leadbetter, Skip Wilson and every other biker out there who has ever driven the big rigs! We love you guys. Keep it real!

The Washington Post’s Mensa “Invitational” once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. Would “science friction” describe a convention panel that gets antagonistic? Here are this year’s top 12 winners:

1. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.

2. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

3. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

4. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting lucky.

5. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.

6. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

7. Sarchasm: The gulf between an author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn’t get it.

8. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

9. Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.

10. Osteopornosis: A degenerate’s disease. (This one got extra credit.)

11. Karmageddon: It’s like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it’s like, a serious bummer.

12. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.