Fun & Games

Have ya ever noticed?

Just when it all starts to come together…BAM!

BE AWARE…BE VERY AWARE!

Okay, okay, it “finally” all makes sense now…I never looked at it this way before.

Ever notice how all of women’s problems start with MEN?

MENtal illness, MENstrual cramps, MENtal breakdown, MENopause, GUYnocologist—AND when we have REAL trouble, it’s a HISterectomy.

Have ya ever noticed…

…that the door NEVER locks behind you, if you have your keys?

…that you NEVER get interrupted until you start talking?

…that your kids NEVER ask, “Are we there, yet?,” when you are taking them to the dentist?

Have ya ever noticed the labels and instructions on consumer goods?

On a bag of Fritos®—You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.

(The shoplifter special?)

On a Sears® hairdryer—Do not use while sleeping.

(That’s the only time I have to work on my hair.)

On Nytol® sleep aid—Warning: may cause drowsiness."

(I’m taking this because?)

On most brands of Christmas lights—“For indoor or outdoor use only.”

(As opposed to what?)

On a child's Superman costume—“Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.”

(I don’t blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)

On a Japanese food processor—“Not to be used for the other use.”

(Somebody out there help me on this. I’m a bit curious.)

On packaging for a Rowenta® iron—“Do not iron clothes on body.”

(Wouldn’t this save me time?)

On some Swanson® frozen dinners—“Serving suggestion: defrost.”

(It’s just a suggestion.)

On a bar of Dial® soap—“Directions: use like regular soap.”

(And that would be…?)

A question for paranoid people…

Does your reflection in the mirror REALLY turn around when you do, or does it just stand there and STARE at the back of your neck?

Blessed are the cracked, for it is they who let in the light.