Over the years, I’ve accumulated a number of reasons why people haven’t succeeded as professional truck drivers. Below is my top-10 pick for 2005 and, of course, my two cents. The names have been omitted for good reason.
Why I failed miserably as a trucker:
1. I couldn’t find someone to help me with my taxes. (I see you haven’t progressed from the EZ form.)
2. My dog got motion sickness. (The dog thought you were a slob and needed to find a good home.)
3. My Cockatoo began to have psychological issues. (A big white bird that probably feared for its life.)
4. I couldn’t wear nice clothes. (Were you thinking evening attire was appropriate?)
5. Communication skills are lacking in this industry. (Tell the truth. You had difficulty being told where to go by a specific time, right?)
6. I don’t like driving long distances. (Define long distance. Oh, never mind. What’s the point? Stay home.)
7. I kept losing cell phone service. (The INSTANT you get cell service, call a counselor.)
8. I wasn’t having much sex with my wife. (Now that you’re off the road, your wife isn’t getting it either…I slay myself.)
9. I couldn’t fill out the logbook. (I’m impressed you could actually spell “logbook.”)
10. I couldn’t sleep when I was driving (My personal favorite… how inconvenient!)
Let’s talk about successful drivers. Send me a letter or e-mail (see below) and tell me why you’re a trucking success story.
Until next stop, drive safely!
You can e-mail Golden Girl at DrivenWomenGG@comcast.net or mail your
letter to Over the Road Magazine, P.O. Box 549, Roswell, GA 30077-0549.