Driven Women

Diary of a Trucker's Wife

Dear GG—I’m so glad you started your Trucker’s Wife diary entries in your column. Now I can read about women who are going through the same thing (or close to it) as me. Here’s what I wrote last night:

July 24, 2004

John just left. Even with a new baby and a full-time job to keep me busy, I still miss him. I talk to him every night, and that helps, but it’s not the same.
I think about what life’s going to be like when Katie starts school. What will John miss? After a while will Katie even miss her father or just realize she’s got an absentee dad?

What worries me more is that when John comes home from the road, he’s exhausted and doesn’t want to do much of anything. He’s turned into a couch potato. I don’t want to start a fight, but this couch potato thing is wearing thin.

I have mixed feelings about trucking. I know that John hated his old job, but this has the makings of a lonely life for the both of us.

Sandra B., Boise, ID

You have every right to talk about your concerns. Ask in a loving, gentle manner. Don’t start with “You lazy S.O.B.! Get up and do something about the leaky faucet!” Nope, that won’t work.

It is hard to get motivated to do housework when you’re body still feels the vibrations of the road. Heck, I’ve been so disoriented driving my car home from the terminal that I pulled into a weigh station! But if he’s home for a few days, then John should find the energy to be productive around the house.

Minor issues turn into major problems that lead to resentments. Resentments are fatal. Preventive maintenance is as imperative in a trucking marriage as it is on a truck. It’s all about talking.

Enjoy not having to wash his underwear!!
GG
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