Murphy's World

Retightening 101: what NOT to do

I was at a truck stop in Georgia, trying to retighten the load on my flatbed with snap binders. I leaned all over the snap binder, putting everything I had into locking the thing. Well, you skaters know what happened next. I took the hardest shot to the jaw that I ever could imagine.
            When I came to, I was on my knees staring up into the sun. I guess my eyes were open for so long that they didn’t work. I couldn’t see! My senses slowly returned, and it dawned on me that my head was in the wrong position. I started to panic, thinking, “Oh my god, my neck must be broken!” I figured as soon as I moved my head I was going to die.
            Another driver walked up and asked, “Are you OK? What are you doing? It looks like you are praying in the middle of the parking lot.”
            “Cheater bar slipped off the snap binder,” I replied. “Just making sure my neck isn’t broken.”
            End result: broken jaw. Neck was fine. Never tried that again.
            TripleSix
            Tennessee

Dear TripleSix,
Ouch! It hurts just reading your story. Those cheater bars throw a mean left hook, don’t they? I feel your pain.
            At the same time, I’m laughing on the inside, not at your unfortunate fisticuffs with the flying cheater bar, but at the conversation you had with the other driver. You’ve just been knocked silly by a shot to the jaw, you’re flat on the your back, wondering if you’re blind or if your neck is broken, and he wants to know if you’re OK and what you’re doing.
            Uh, let’s see. Possible replies: “I’m fine. I’m just down here staring at the sun, looking for solar flares” or “Am I OK? I just took the shot of my life to the chin, I’m flat on my back, I can’t see and my head isn’t where it’s supposed to be. Does it look like I’m OK to you, Dr. Kildare?”
            So, thanks for the advice. I don’t believe I’ll try that particular tightening technique, ever.

Regards,
Murphy and Lucky Dog