fun & games

A trucker's breakfast…

A trucker came into a truck stop cafe and placed his order. He said, “I want three flat tires, a pair of headlights and a pair of running boards.”

The new blonde waitress, not wanting to appear stupid, went to the kitchen and said to the cook, “This guy just ordered three flat tires, a pair of headlights and a pair of running boards… What does he think this is, an auto parts store?”

“No,” the cook said. “‘Three flat tires’ means three pancakes; ‘a pair of headlights’ is two eggs sunny side up and ‘a pair of running boards’ are two slices of crisp bacon!”

“Oh, OK!” said the blonde. She thought about it for a moment and then spooned up a bowl of beans and gave it to the customer.

The trucker asked, “What are the beans for, Blondie?”

She replied, “I thought while you were waiting for the flat tires, headlights and running boards, you might as well gas up!”

FOR ONCE, THE BLONDE GETS EVEN!

My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She is now 97, and we have NO IDEA where she is.

I joined a health club last year and spent about $400. I haven’t lost a pound…apparently you have to show up.

I have to exercise early in the morning before my brain figures out what I am doing.

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.

If you are going to try cross-country skiing, start with a small country. (like Switzerland?)