Murphy's World

Don’t match wits with a hillbilly

Here’s one I pulled several years ago. I was leased to a company in Coralville, IA. The log lady came to me complaining about my averaging 64 mph from Denver to York, NE. The company trucks only run 64 mph. I’m an owner-operator, so she was having a fit with me.
     I explained that the speed limit is 75 across Colorado and Nebraska. She didn’t accept this, because the company policy says ‘61’. I asked, “Do I obey company policy or lie on my log book?” 
     She looked at me sternly and said, “Have you always been an antagonist?”
     I looked back at her, with several drivers listening, and said, “No! I’ve always believed in God!”
     She doesn’t crack a smile, picks up her papers and goes back to her office. But we can hear her laughing up a storm, in spite of the closed doors. Don’t mess with a hillbilly!
     Gotta roll!
     Mike K.
     Lockwood, MO    

Dear Mike,
Let’s get one thing perfectly straight right from the onset: I’ve seen the movie “Deliverance,” I know lots of folks from West Virginia on south to Georgia, and I don’t mess with hillbillies. In fact, some of my best friends are hillbillies, but I know better than to mess with one of them when they’re “not in the mood.” Never have, never will.
     That was the log lady’s first mistake. The second was trying to match wits with a certified “hillbilly.” As we like to say in Murphy’s World, big mistake. I’m not sure what was funnier, the log lady’s question or your smarty-pants retort.
     One man’s antagonist is another man’s agnostic. In Murphy’s World, we have plenty of both and room for more. Bring ’em on. In fact, the more the merrier. Things would get boring around here without them and all the folks of various persuasions who muddle through our world.

Regards,

Murphy and Lucky Dog