Fun & Games

The dumb things people say and do

These stories are supposedly true, so be careful out there, drivers. They walk among us, they reproduce…they vote!

I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the deer crossing sign on our road. The reason: “Too many deer are being hit by cars out here! I don’t think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore.”  
From Kingman, KS

The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it’s safe to cross the street. I was crossing with a co-worker of mine. She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red. Appalled, she asked, “What on earth are blind people doing driving?!”
Probation officer in Wichita, KS

I was at the airport, checking in at the gate, when an airport employee asked, “Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?” I replied, “If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?” He smiled knowingly and nodded, “That's why we ask.”
Birmingham, AL

When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working to unlock the driver’s side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. “Hey,” I announced, “It’s open!” His reply: "I know, I already got that side.”
Canton, MS

I work with a woman who plugged her power strip into itself, and couldn’t understand why her system would not turn on.
A load coordinator for a national trucking company

At a farewell luncheon for an old-and-dear co-worker: She was leaving the company due to “downsizing.” Our manager commented cheerfully, "This is fun. We should do this more often!" Not another word was spoken. We all just looked at each other with that deer-in-the-headlights gaze. Way to go, Boss!
This Fortune 500 company will remain anonymous

I was ordering a hot fudge sundae at (Ha…you thought I was gonna say where, didn’t ya!) the other day. I told the girl on the speaker box I wanted extra hot fudge for my sundae. She said, “Sir, our fudge only comes at one temperature.”